Conversation with myself.

God I look awful today

Don't say that about yourself, you cant be that bad

But I am, look, panda eyes, fat belly.. and my hair looks like the end of a garden brush.

What do you know, you always hate the way you look. you should go easy or this could turn into a really shitty day.

I  know but really what's the point. my face is fat and there's bound to be like a million beautiful thin girls out and about today

So what, they all look the same, you should like you for you.

What the fuck is great about me eh, I have a serious freckle issue which hasn't really even started yet, so when that happens I'm going to burn, explode in freckles and my hair will bleach and i will look like a beached whale with a Debenhams make over flopped on the grass on the common for people to laugh at.

This is so stupid, your beautiful, really. You have pretty eyes

They're sunken

Your smile is cute!

I have wonky teeth and my lips are thin

Your body is curvy

Curves are another word for fat..

oh stop it! im trying to help!

You have to agree with me anyway because we share the same body

then fuck off somewhere else then, i don't need your goodytooshoo bullshit in my ear. its not realistic. you know that we wont get on unless I'm thin and beautiful with sunken cheeks and a gap between my thighs. seriously. what man women child or even animal would really listen to you, when the reality of it all is that we suck. you suck. i suck. this body sucks.

Im not that bad.

Yes you are, if it weren't for you, perhaps we'd be thin, we'd be successful and your parents would be proud. and everyone would adore you, and you could spit on all those below you, because we are in the few that made it big, and all in the body of a size 8 beauty.. how on earth do you think being nice, or true or accepting would get you anywhere, really. who are the real winners in this world. the big shots. the celebrities, they are gods, and we.. you!,are nothing to that world.

but why should i care about all that, im happy where i am.

really? i mean, really really?

yes, it just so happens im quite happy ..

happy don't cut it babe. happy doesn't make you attractive. thin does. control does. money does. without any of that, your nothing

then why don't you fuck off then, i don't need you! if im happy here, and you're unhappy, then leave! i don't need this, i can stay in this body and forget all that mindless crap that you care about. we'll see who will go further..

Ha! see you at the top babe! ill be looking down at you with the beautiful people.

Ill be looking ahead into the real world and seeing what really makes people beautiful..

fine. lets see who wins this battle.